The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire, Rebecca Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky
This book is written for Christians who were brought up in the Purity Culture of the Evangelical church, reading marriage books that taught that sex is just for men, that wives should engage in uncomfortable sex, or perform whenever the man wants, out of duty. It is for those who were taught that if men do not get all the sex they want, it is the wife’s fault that they are unfaithful. It refutes the lies that marital rape is impossible, that men cannot control themselves, and that a woman’s pleasure is unimportant.
The authors carried out an impressive survey of 20,000 women researching the impact of these teachings on women, their marriages and in particular their experience of sex. The results of this inform the chapters of the book, which address all the issues above in a clear, well presented and reasoned manner.
I was raised with these teachings, and some of the traumas I lived through were a direct result of this lived experience. For me, The Great Sex Rescue was other women coming alongside me and telling me I was not alone in rejecting these harmful beliefs, and equipping me to set boundaries and speak up about the abusive behaviours that can come from them.
If you were raised in this way, and have not yet come to a place of freedom, mutuality, intimacy and pleasure in your romantic relationships, then this book is for you. I also recommend the blog, Baremarriage.com. You will find many other women’s stories there. It also enters into more nuanced debate on subjects that still feel too black and white in the book, such as pornography and premarital sex.
The book does only talk about heterosexual relationships, so people of different orientations or gender identities may not find it helpful.
www.baremarriage.com Check out this website for more information on this subject