In this quote, Anne Lamott invites us to sit with our questions and the mess. We do not need to deny our doubts or fear curiosity. We can deconstruct what was given to us, and go on the lifelong journey of deconstruction and transformation. A lot of this can happen in an Autumn season in life.
Which of your core beliefs are being challenged in this season?
Facing doubts can feel terrifying. But we can also see the gift being offered to us – the opportunity to free ourselves of chains and rules that were never authentically ours. It is an invitation to take the next step on the path to living more freely and wholeheartedly.
We can be blind to our own core beliefs, as they are so deeply a part of us, we cannot see them. Here are some prompts to use, if you need to, to answer the question.
Think about the doubts and questions you have about God and how the world works, especially those you would hold back from saying out loud.
Listen to your body – what is the tension you notice saying to you?
Feel your emotions – what are your anger and sadness asking?
If you feel afraid, what is fear trying to stop you from questioning?
People enter seasons of more intense questioning for different reasons. Some come to a point in their life where they feel totally overwhelmed. The survival strategies they have used until then, the belief framework and “promises” they have clung to, are no longer working. The betrayals that they have stubbornly remained blind to, clamour for their attention and action. It may be leaving home for the first time that prompts the deconstruction. It may be mid-life. It can also be meeting flesh and blood people who are other to us and challenge our biases.
Sometimes these seasons can feel like being caught in a tidal wave, that threatens to engulf and drown. It can feel like being inexorably dragged under by the current. What if we surrender? What if, in surrender, we find we are as worthless as we fear? What if Love has indeed failed us? What if those black and white truths we have held so dear, break into all the colours of the rainbow?
It takes courage to go on the journey of deconstruction. It is not easy to sit and remove each belief, assumption and prejudice, to lay them on the ground around us, and then carefully examine each one. It may require us to stop and pull aside. Some are out of circulation for a while. There can be a risk of losing friendships and community. Others feel out of step with their nearest and dearest.
For others, it is a more gentle, gradual process.
“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then.” Lewis Carroll
There are people who think that changing your mind is a weak thing to do. Now there’s a limiting belief for you! Of course, in reality, the path of growth and transformation requires us to learn and change all the time.
This week’s invitation is to take a look at where you are on your journey today and journal using these prompts:
Here are some things I used to believe that I no longer do …
Here are some things I have discovered that surprised me …
Here are some things I am learning in my present circumstances …
Here is a question I have today …
